According to the earliest exit polls, Barack Obama has won all but one of the "Super Sunday" Oscar Primaries, and taken a delegate lead that pundits say may well be insurmountable, even if Obama loses both Texas and Ohio in the coming March 4th contests. John McCain, as expected, took all delegates for the Republican contests, losing to Mike Huckabee only in the "Supporting Actor" category due to his poor showing in No Country for Old Men

Obama took the delegates for "Best Picture", for the photograph recently sent in a mass mailing to thousands of Democratic donors. The photograph shows the Illinois Senator walking across the surface of a lake to rescue a swan with a broken wing.

Obama's largest percentage was in the contest for "Best Script", a Latin verse play which he co-wrote with Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. Officially, Obama and Patrick will share an equal number of delegates; however, Patrick, an Obama supporter, has pledged his delegates to Obama.

The award for "Best Supporting Actor" went to Obama for his role as a crusading forensic doctor on Law & Order: CSI Edition.

In a stunning upset, Obama even beat Senator Clinton for "Best Supporting Actress" for his role in a remake of The Crying Game. This award was not even contested on the Republican side, as only Rudy Guiliani had bothered to put his name on the ballot.

Senator Clinton's lone win was in the "Best Actress" category, for her performance in a September, 2007 debate in Wizzlebee, Iowa in which she gained proints for a sharp retort to a smart-alecky Dennis Kucinich question about her early support for the Iraq war. However, Ms. Clinton was awarded a mere 59 delegates from that contest, compared to the 100 awarded to Senator Obama for his "Best Actor" Award for his performance in the Los Angeles debate of February 1, notable for his masterful references to William Jennings Bryan's "cross of gold" speech.

Other Obama wins include "Best Lighting", for the moment in a January New Hampshire appearance when the sun broke through the clouds at his command and melted the ice on a rural school road; "Best Score" for his zinger of a response to a Fox News debate question; "Best Documentary" for the popular YouTube video "Yes We Can"; and "Best Direction" for his 18-point "Road Map for a New America".

Obama did suffer a minor setback, having received one "Razzie" Award and accompanying four delegate penalty, for having agreed to be interviewed by Maureen Dowd. This was, however, more than offset by Senator Clinton's "Razzie" for "Worst Performance by a Campaign Strategist".

As Obama appeared, holding his array of Oscars and delegate totals, one reporter asked him, "Where will you go now?"

The Illinois Senator grinned, a confident grin.

"Where else?", he said. "I'm going to Toledo".